found a florist

I think out of all the vendors, finding a florist was one of the harder decisions. I didn't really have an idea in mind of what I wanted. I don’t have a green thumb (quite the opposite, actually), and all flowers look gorgeous to me, but there was one that I wanted, and always have wanted – peonies.

I was very clueless at how much wedding flowers actually cost, and so decided to look at a few different florists to get a range over what is considered acceptable for wedding flowers.

On a side note: isn’t it crazy how planning a wedding can make a significant sum of money seem insubstantial? Like in what universe but in wedding world does the thought, “Oh, it’s only $1,500? That’s not bad,” ever seem normal?

Since there seem like an infinite number of florists in the Raleigh area, I decided to narrow my search based on reviews, recommendations, and my own personal style. Just like with every other vendor, I learned quickly that I did indeed had a preference, and the arrangements that were less uniform and more like how flowers grow in nature was what I was drawn to. You can see some examples of what I mean here and here.

I focused in on three florists: Fresh Affairs (given top reviews), Expressions of Love (a recommendation), and Eclectic Sage. I met the owner of Eclectic Sage, Heather Ann Miller, at a bridal show.

I decided to go with Eclectic Sage for a few different reasons:

• She seemed more willing to work to create beautiful florals within my budget
• Her vision for my wedding aligned with mine
• Her previous work matched my style

I found that more so with any other vendor, my parents and I worked with arranging my vision for the flowers with the budget. You can go crazy with flowers, so I think it is important to have a set budget in mind when it comes to a florist. It seems that working within a budget is more feasible with florists than with other vendors – there are many ways that you can substitute, add less, tweak styles, etc., than you can with, say, a DJ. This was crucial, as I discovered that peonies, the flowers that I wanted the most, are super expensive, even in season, which at the end of May they were.

photo by Kendall Lynette Photography & Design

photo by Kendall Lynette Photography & Design

Because of this, we decided to let the true focus of the wedding flowers be my bouquet, with big peonies in varying shades of pink. The bridesmaids will carry white bouquets made up of mostly roses, hydrangeas, and greenery, which will look nice with the dresses. Kasey, the Maid of Honor, will carry a smaller version of my bouquet, with white flowers to match the bridesmaids, but also to offset her from the other bridesmaids. The groomsmen will match the bridesmaids, with Matt matching myself.

photo by Kendall Lynette Photography & Design

For the centerpieces, since the linens are so soft (more on that in a later post), we decided to go with pink and white roses, hydrangeas, and greenery to brighten up the tables. The centerpiece for the sweetheart table will be my bouquet. I love the look of mercury glass, and I was able to find gold vessels in a compote bowl style and also as a square vase, to give some differing looks to the table. I didn't want to go with anything too high so that people could still talk to each other across the table. I don’t like the trumpet vase look, so that was nixed quickly.

We decided not to get flowers for the ceremony. The venue is gorgeous enough as it is!

Missed a Wedding Wednesday post? Here's our engagement story, choosing the colors, choosing the bridal party, picking the venue, ordering a wedding dress & shoes, and finding a photographer.

found a photographer

Finding a good wedding photographer was very important to me. I had read numerous articles, blog posts, etc. about how the wedding photographer is one of the most important people on your wedding day – after all, they are the only vendor that provides you with a lasting keepsake of your wedding, so I wanted to get someone good.

But, wedding photography is EXPENSIVE. It can range from $2,000 upwards to $14,000, which is crazy. Though in my experience of looking at various photographers, you get what you pay for. This is something that you should make some cushion room in your budget, because it’s worth spending on. Like I said before, if you don’t have a videographer (we aren’t planning on getting one), then your photographs will be the only things you have to remember your wedding day. It was important to me not to chance it!

Before I dive into how I went about choosing a wedding photographer for me, I want to address why we’ve chosen not to get a videographer. Some people will read this and gasp, thinking we’ve made a big mistake, but a videographer to me seemed superfluous. Matt and I are not the type of people to sit around years later and reminisce about our wedding day by watching a video. We are both incredibly awkward people, and I think a video would just make us both uncomfortable. That’s not to say that we would never look back on our wedding day! I could totally see us looking through a photo album, or going through pictures on our phones.

With that all said, Matt and I did have a photographer do our engagement pictures (more on that later), but decided to find someone else with a bit more experience to photograph our wedding.

So, like I did with every other step of this wedding planning process, I started researching. And researching. And researching. I believe that in all I looked at different photographers for a couple weeks. All this researching helped me in two ways – I got a good idea of the range that I was comfortable in spending, and what style I was looking for.

I realized that I was drawn to photographs with lots of natural light, that weren’t staged or posed, and detail shots – I LOVE detail shots. I’m also interested in submitting my wedding in a wedding editorial like Southern Weddings, Style Me Pretty, or Green Wedding Shoes, so I was looking for someone who had their photos featured before.

Many, many photographers were just way too expensive, or weren’t in the style that I was looking for, but there were two that interested me – Brett & Jessica Photography and Emily March Photography.

They were both great in their own ways, and I had a hard time choosing between the two. In the end, I decided to go with Emily March Photography because her photographs looked more professional, more artistic – almost like something in an editorial magazine, she had a better eye for framing pictures, and the overall lighting and look of her photographs just resonated with me personally.

With Emily, her love of God shines through her pictures, and after speaking with her, I got the sense they she genuinely loves shooting weddings – she talked about why this was a passion of hers for most of our phone conversation, which I loved! She understands marriage from a biblical aspect, and her photographs reflect that.

I know that a lot of people recommend scheduling a shoot with the photographer before the actual wedding day (Emily included), but since we already had engagement photos done, it seemed a bit redundant to have them re-shot. For a few weeks I threw around the idea of bridal portraits, as well.

It seems that bridal portraits (having a photoshoot of the bride’s hair, makeup, dress, and bouquet before the wedding, to be displayed at the reception) are something that is a southern tradition. Growing up in New Jersey, I never attended a wedding with a bridal portrait, but I have been to weddings down south with them.

I emailed Emily about her thoughts. She sent me a link to a great post about the benefits of a bridal session, but in the end I decided that it wasn’t something for me, mostly because of the budget (and I was also afraid of getting my pretty dress ruined before the big day – I am that kind of person). There are a few things when it comes to weddings that you can cut out and no one is going to think anything of it – I felt like bridal portraits were one of those things.

Missed a wedding Wednesday post? Here's our engagement story, choosing the colors, choosing the bridal party, picking the venue, and ordering a wedding dress & shoes.

ordered a wedding dress + shoes

Don’t worry, I’m not actually going to post pictures of my wedding dress. I am, however, going to tell you all about the process of picking the perfect dress for me.

I’m not one of those girls who spent most of her childhood thinking about her wedding, and I never, until I got engaged, made a board on Pinterest about weddings. (Now I pin to my heart’s content on my wedding board.)

So when it was time to think about a wedding dress, I really had no idea where to begin. I had heard about a collection of dresses called the Disney Princess Wedding Collection, and so I decided to look into those first, since I love all things Disney.

Side note: there are engagement rings floating around on the internet called Disney Princess Engagement Rings. These are not actually real, as Matt said he looked into getting one for me. Oh, well!

Anyway, the Snow White gown caught my eye out of all the others from the collection. I found a store near me that carried the Disney Princess bridal gowns, and went to try it on.

It just…didn’t work. I don’t know what it was, but it just seemed like the dress was wearing me, and I wasn’t wearing the dress. I was a little disappointed, but I decided to try on a bunch of other dresses in varying styles and designs to see what I would like the best.

There was one style that I kept being drawn to (pictured above - keep in mind that this dress is at least four sizes too big for me), but since this was early in the year and way too soon to purchase a dress, I used that style as a reference and booked an appointment at a boutique in Raleigh called Maggi Bridal a couple months later.

Maggi Bridal is unique in that it only books one dress appointment at a time, so that you are the only person in the shop while trying on dresses. The girl that I worked with was friendly, patient, helpful, and very mindful of my budget, which helped a ton in picking the perfect dress for me.

After discussing the different styles that I liked, she helped me pick out a few gowns to try on. I wound up picking the first dress that I tried on, that went completely against what I had originally told her, ha! Though I’ve heard that’s the way it usually goes with wedding dresses.

I spend more times that I would like to admit looking at pictures of myself in the dress on my iPhone. I can’t wait to wear it!

Going along with that, I’m still in the process of picking wedding accessories (are there any cute bridal panties that AREN’T sheer?! I don’t want to show off all my bits to my bridesmaids!), but the shoes I decided on fairly quickly.

I knew that I wanted statement shoes, preferably in pink, since it would go along with the wedding colors but would also give me that pop of color that I wanted. I saw these shoes on Pinterest that were perfect, but being Valentinos, the price tag was not.

I dedicated one night searching around on the Internet for a similar shoe style. Every time I thought I found a shoe that was similar to the original that I loved so much, I would discover that it was in fact the same shoe! It seemed it was meant to be, and with a little coaxing from Matt, I took the plunge and invested in the Valentinos.

Missed a Wedding Wednesday post? Here’s our engagement story, choosing the colors, choosing the bridal party, and picking the venue.

picking the venue

Picking a venue has been so far the hardest decision about the whole wedding planning process. After we got back from Disney World, I jumped right into researching wedding venues. I toyed with the idea of having a destination wedding to Charleston, one of my favorite cities and close to Matt’s grandmom, but came to the conclusion that it would be super expensive, as Charleston is one of the most popular wedding destinations in America. Plus, for someone who is detail oriented, Type A and a bit of a micro-manager, planning a wedding from five-plus hours away seemed like a very bad idea.

So, I started researching wedding venues in Raleigh and the surrounding area.

Since there are a TON of venues in the area, I had to narrow my search down a bit. I decided that I wanted to have the ceremony and reception at the same venue, mainly because it is so much easier for guests and also the bridal party when you can just stay in one place. That crossed off a lot of options, including churches, hotels, and the typical reception halls. Most places that have the ceremony and reception in the same location do the ceremony outside, which I wasn't opposed to.

At this point Matt and I didn't have a wedding date picked out, just a specific time of year – the spring. Why the spring? Summers in North Carolina are brutal, winters are too cold, Fall would make for an almost two-year engagement, and so the spring seemed right. Plus, peonies are my favorite flower, and they happen to be in season in the springtime. No brainer.

I thought originally about getting married Easter weekend, but Easter is early next year, April 3^rd. Matt brought up the point that there may be a lot of pollen (for those of you unaware, the pollen season in North Carolina is TERRIBLE. The air is thick with yellow, and it coats the cars, houses, pretty much everything), so we quickly vetoed that idea. We decided on asking venues about dates in late May, as we figured we would be clear of the pollen and the weather would be more pleasant.

Now, I could get to work.

Researching wedding venues was very overwhelming. It helped that I knew some things that I wanted, but when I tell you that I looked at every venue in the area, I am not lying. Most didn't match the feel I was going for, were too expensive, or just not right, so those were quickly scrapped.  As I started researching, I realized that I was drawn to venues that had a “Southern” vibe to them (big, sprawling plantation homes), and over the course of two months went to look at five venues – Fearrington Village, Hudson Manor, Highgrove, The Oaks at Salem, and The Sutherland.

Two out of the five became quick “no’s” for me as soon as I got to the venue. Hudson Manor was one of them. On the outside, the house was gorgeous, but the inside was not as nice, and the owners of the venue lived upstairs, which weirded Matt out a bit. Only the bridal party had access to the house. The grounds were beautifully landscaped, even in the winter. I liked that they had a little chapel on the property, in case it rained. But, the reception was held in a building that looked very much like a dated hall, and they only provided buffets (I wanted a plated dinner). The parking for me was another big negative – people had to park in the grass. I knew that if I was attending a wedding and had to park in the grass and/or mud (if it rained), I would not be happy. The final deal breaker was the owner herself, who just rubbed me the wrong way.

The next “no” was The Oaks at Salem. Again, the venue was owned by a woman who lived there as well, but the guests could go into the house. While the cars were parked on the grass like the previous venue, there was valet parking, which was nice. The ceremony was held outside under a giant oak tree with a pond in the background, and the reception was on the patio with the pond as a backdrop – both beautiful locations. But, the whole venue gave off the vibe that you were just getting married in a rich person’s house, and it didn't seem like an actual wedding venue.

The next two venues were closes “yeses” for me, but in the end I said no to both of them. Highgrove quickly became a favorite of mine. I loved the house and the fact that the guests could go into the house and enjoy it as well (as I started looking at venues I realized how important it was to me for people to be able to go into the house if they pleased, partly because of the price of these venues, which were not cheap, and partly because I wanted my guests to have the full experience of the venue). The ceremony overlooking the lake was gorgeous, and the reception area was nice too, with a big stone fireplace at the end of the room. But, I didn't like the rain option, which was to have to guests sit at their tables in the reception hall, while the ceremony would be conducted in front of the fireplace. The idea of having guests sit at the tables was not appealing to me at all, and seemed tacky and distracting. My parents offered extra money to have the room flipped for both the ceremony and reception, but the manager refused. I was disappointed, but realized that in the end, Highgrove probably wasn't the right venue for me, if I was uneasy about the rain option.

Fearrington Village was almost the winner. It had everything, including multiple ceremony locations, a beautiful open air reception area, and offered delicious food from the restaurant on-site, the only AAA Five-Diamond restaurant in the state of North Carolina. The bridal party got ready in the honeymoon hotel suite, which was also on-site. The rain option was acceptable. It was perfect. The price tag, however, was not, and if I wanted to make it work for our budget, I’d have to cut down the guest list (we currently have a little over 100 guests on the list) and go with a buffet meal, both of which I really wanted to avoid. So, I said goodbye to Fearrington Village and started looking again.

There was still one major venue in the area that I hadn't looked at yet, except briefly online. My co-worker was getting married at The Sutherland in October of this year, and I was trying to avoid her venue, mostly because I didn't want her to think I was copying her, even though it kept coming up in my thoughts. But, after all four “no’s,” I figured it was time to take a look at The Sutherland.

When I stepped on the grounds, I knew it was the one. Old fashioned gas lamps light the path from the parking lot to the ceremony, which is held in a walled garden with immaculate landscaping. The house itself hosts the bridal party before the ceremony, and afterwards, the guests are free to explore the house. The groom and groomsmen get ready in a cabin dating back to the 1700s, which sits on the property. Cocktail hour is on the back patio, overlooking a giant oak tree. The newly finished open-air pavilion hosts the reception, which also doubles as the rain option for the ceremony.

It was perfect. Matt and I decided on a Friday date to save some costs, and after skipping over the extra 20 percent for Memorial Day weekend, decided on May 29, 2015.

I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about the places that I didn't like, so I will add this disclaimer: just because these places didn't work for me, doesn't mean they were bad venues. They all were beautiful, and all had positives. It’s just that, for me, the venues that I didn't choose had negatives that I couldn't see past, and decided to pass on. I've seen pictures of weddings done at each of the four venues that I didn't choose that were absolutely gorgeous.

Missed a Wedding Wednesday post? Here's our engagement story, choosing the colors, and choosing the bridal party.

choosing the bridal party

For me, choosing bridesmaids was one of the hardest things about the wedding planning process. Since I grew up in New Jersey, went to college in Virginia, lived in California for six months, and now live in North Carolina, my friends are literally all across the country (and world). I don’t have a close group of girlfriends a la Sex and the City, and none of my close friends live nearby. I knew that whoever said yes to be my bridesmaid would have to commit to a big financial obligation.

There were a couple things that I knew for sure that I wanted:

-          Not a huge wedding party. I wanted to keep the bridesmaid group down to either five or six girls.

-          Since my half-sisters are much older than me and I’m not really close to them, I wouldn’t include them in the wedding party.

-          Matt’s older sister Ashley and younger sister Kasey would be bridesmaids.

-          My friend Marielise from South Africa, who now lives in Los Angeles, would be a bridesmaid.

-          My friend Rachel from college would be a bridesmaid.

-          My cousin Lauren would be a bridesmaid.

I was down to a sizeable group of girls, but I didn’t have a Maid of Honor. I struggled with choosing a Maid of Honor for a few weeks before I finally decided that Kasey, Matt’s younger sister, would be my Maid of Honor. I chose her because out of the group of girls, she was the closest (Kasey attends college about an hour from me) and able to help me the most with wedding preparations. I also thought it would be a good way to become closer to one of my future sister-in-laws. J

Now I had to ask the girls.

In the old days, before Pinterest, a bride would take her friend out for coffee / lunch, or, if she lived far away, would call her up on the phone, and ask if she wanted to be a bridesmaid. Now, there is not so much an expectation but an obligation for the bride to give the bridesmaids little “Will you be my Bridesmaid?” gifts.

There is a lot of wedding stuff on Pinterest, but the “asking bridesmaid gifts” (not to be confused with the actual bridesmaid gifts) is something that I think is kind of cute. I ran the idea by my mom to make sure I wasn’t going too over the top, and she thought it was a good idea.

I found this DIY tote bag on Pinterest that matched one of the wedding colors, and went to C. Wonder and filled up each bag with a monogrammed mug, coasters, and Essie nail polish (with the idea that they could wear the color on the wedding day). I purchased these adorable cards from Rifle Paper Co. with information inside about the date, venue, dresses, accessories, etc.

I’m so glad that I took the time to make little gifts for the girls. They all seemed to really like them (Kasey cried when she received hers), and they were fun to put together. I’m putting together the bridesmaid gifts right now, and they are pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. I can’t wait to give them to the girls!

And in case you are wondering, Matt’s groomsmen are his brother Cooper (and Kasey’s twin) as Best Man, his childhood friend Travis, his high school friend Michael, his cycling friend Jonathan, and my cousin Frankie (Lauren’s brother).

Missed a Wedding Wednesday post? Here's our engagement story and choosing the colors.

color combinations

One of the first things that I started thinking about after I got engaged was a color combination. I know that right now the whole "blush pink and gold" wedding colors are overdone, but you can't deny that they are classic, romantic, and timeless. I kept looking through different color combinations and was drawn to weddings with those colors again and again, so it was obviously the only choice for me.

The color palette below was the closest that I could find to my colors of blush pink + gold + cream, with an accent color of deep pink saved for my shoes and my bouquet.

I don't have a theme for the wedding. I want the wedding to feel soft and romantic. I'm going to bring in my colors and ambient lighting to achieve this. Plus, it's a wedding, and what is more romantic than that?

I love the above color combination, except slightly more vibrant. Matt said it's very girly, but he's on board with it.

the m & b engagement

Our engagement story is pretty epic, if you ask me. After the tears, hugs, kisses, and smiles from the moment were over, Matt realized that he set the bar pretty high. But if there's anyone to set the bar high for all guys everywhere, it's Matt.

I could not have imagined, in my wildest dreams, a more perfect engagement for me. Here's the story, from the beginning:

After Matt passed his prelims in mid-November 2013 (a HUGE presentation that determines whether or not you can continue on in the PhD program at Duke), he decided that he wanted to propose while on a family vacation to Disney World, planned the first week of December. The trip had been planned for months, but since he didn't decide on proposing on the trip until a few weeks before we were leaving, he had a short amount of time to find a ring, etc.

Matt thought that only my parents knew about what he was planning on doing, but when we were actually in Disney World he found out that my aunt, uncle, and cousin all knew as well. No pressure! He got in contact with Steph, a friend of his brother's who works at Disney, to help. Matt had an idea to propose in front of Belle's castle, since Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie, but Steph suggested that he propose in a new attraction in Magic Kingdom called "Storytime with Belle,"* since the attraction ends in the library (my favorite part of the movie, for obvious reasons). Steph orchestrated, along with her supervisor and everyone else in that section of Magic Kingdom, for ride to be held up while Matt and I stayed behind in the library so Matt could propose.** After I said yes, Matt had arranged for Belle to come out for a special meet and greet.

The pictures are so dark because the lighting in the library was pretty bad. We had a Disney photographer who took some pictures but when we went to view them later, we found out that she didn't have her flash on, and so the pictures were terrible. And so it goes, right?

We found out later that it is very rare to meet Belle individually, as she is kept on a really tight schedule, which is funny, when you think about it. My proposal was so famous that Disney employees in other parks even heard about it! Everyone at Disney went above and beyond to help make Matt's proposal the best.

Afterward, we were given special "Just Engaged" buttons that we wore around for the rest of our trip. It was very cool to have numerous Disney employees and even other vacationers congratulate us and get so excited that we actually did engaged in Disney World. We were also given bride and groom Mickey Mouse ears, with "Mr. Howe" and "Mrs. Howe" embroidered on the back, which we wore on our last day there. Matt needed a little coaxing to wear his!

Needless to say, that vacation will go down as the best in one of my life.

photo by Samantha Floyd Photography

*Interesting Note: throughout the day Matt kept suggesting we go on that ride, but I was not interested in the slightest, saying it was "for little kids." He spent most of the day trying to convince me to even go on the ride.

**Interesting Note Number Two: I was pretty sick the day that Matt proposed. Like, sore throat, runny nose, headache, fever. He jokes that I wasn't in my right mind when I said yes, and that I suddenly became better once he pulled out the ring!

Wedding Wednesdays: Congratulations, You're Engaged! Now What?

Since I’m getting married in May (!!), I thought it would be fun to write about the wedding planning process, for any new brides out there who are looking for guidance or advice. I figured I would start at the beginning – the engagement. After I got engaged last December, my mind was spinning with things that needed to be done.

Celebrate!

Don’t forget to celebrate! Since I got engaged the first day of my vacation in Disney World, Matt and I agreed that we would enjoy the week that we had and not start diving right into wedding details. Tell your friends and family, enjoy the special attention, and pop open that bubbly!

Get your ring sized and insured

Since I don’t wear really any jewelry at all, Matt had to guess at my ring size, and was off by a few sizes, though it did still fit (loosely). It will be hard to be parted from your ring for a few days or up to a week, but it will give you piece of mind that you can wear it in the shower and not worry about it going down the drain!

Talk to your insurance agent and get your ring insured in case of theft or loss. They will need to see the appraisal, so be sure to have all the proper paperwork so everything goes smoothly.

Start talking about a wedding date

You don’t have to decide the next day when and where you are getting married, but it is a good idea to start thinking about when you would like to get married. Matt and I both knew right away that we didn’t want to get married in the winter (too cold) or in the summer (too hot – North Carolina summers are brutal!). Narrow things down first by seasons and then go from there.

Create a wedding Pinterest board

If you don’t use Pinterest, it can be a great tool for planning a wedding. Unlike most girls, I didn’t have a Pinterest board set up of my “dream wedding,” so I had fun (and still do) pinning ideas for the big day. Your board will also help you determine any recurring themes or ideas that you are naturally drawn to, which will help with planning later on.

The most important thing to remember is to enjoy your engagement, especially the beginning! There will be time to start delving into the nitty gritty wedding details! And congratulations!